agela joolin walks into a pharmacy and asks to see a range of vibrators. The male pharmacist beckons her with his finger and says "can u come this way ma'am?"

"If I could come that way, I would't need a vibrator!!!"

 

A drunk is sitting at corner of the bar and at the other end, a women is waving excitedly at the barman to take orders. She has areally hairy armpit. "I'll buy a drink for that ballarina at the end of the bar!!" said the drunk. "How u know she's a ballarina?" asks the barman. "wow!! anywomen who can lift up her leg up that high has gotta beaballerina mate"

 

Lesbian...Just anoter women trying to do man's job.

 

A man was very sad. He went to a bar of his friend and ordered a triple shot of wisky. "what's wrong?" asked the barman Woody his friend. "i came home and found my wife in bed with my best friend" replied  the man. Wow!! shit is it jordan? have another drink. what did u do?" " i looked her straight in the eye and told her we were through, pack her stuff and get out!!" "good for u!!" said the barman, And what about jordan your best friend?"Did u killed him? "NooOoo!!jordan? i walked over to him, looked him in the eye and said, BAD DOG HOW MANY TIME I HAD TO TELL U NOT TO SLEEP ON MY BAD!!!"

 

A man was visiting his wife, who was in coma in hospital. He touch her left hand and noticed that she signed. Excited he called the doctor. The doctor told him to touch her right thigh. This time she let out a little moan. The doctor suggested that tried to have sex to her to test her responses. the doctor left the room and retured fifteen minutes later to find the women almost dead. "What happened!!??" asked the doctor. "Doc... I think she might have choked."

 

Doctor John was depressed. He'd been caught having sex with a patient. He was so worried, he confinded to a friend that he might end it all. "you aren't the 1st doctor to sleep with a patient and u certainly worry too much." "I know" said Doctor John, "but I'll no longer be consider the city's top vet...."

 

"hey Lisa if  u woke up in the morning with grass stain on your elbows and your knees and your knickers around your ankles, would you tell anyone??" "hello no!!" replied Lisa." "Than how about coming on a picnic tomorrow??"

 

Ha ha ha that's all for not, not too hard not too light. Hard guy can't sleep with light on ha ha ha but i still like this the Best:( I will tell this joke to my wife if i get laid)

 

I don't know what is real happiness untill i got married......................and than it was too lateha ha ha hope she won't kill me he he he

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

well i been in achery for nearly 3 years now ranged 30 to 40 meters accuracy with my compound matthew LX bow, but only in-door target pratice.i had heard alot about out door 'track,wait and hunt' game with wild boars...something new and dangerous...interesting. Senior bow man told me that i am not fit and experience with the game and mother nature yet but yet i am ready to take a risk of doin it already. I saw a black hog armed with sharp teeth with evil red eyes near my back house estate 8 kilometer deep. Must have lost his way or maybe looking for new habitat or food, they never get lost with their well pave track, or maybe he is looking for new territory for mating. He ran away the moment he hear noise made by my bike. But the hog's track were all over the place telling me he is the new owner of that teritory. With it's dropping and dirty bathe area telling me he is staying there for good with food. At that moment i had decided to give myself a bit extreme blood game. should i or should not...is the question running in my head untill  i had to blog it in my web. Killing something which i haven't done yet. I heard lots of excitement and accident where hunter being hunted and prey and predator games....make me....scare, excited...maybe confuse too..to kill someting which is just trying to make a new home and new life.....i am actually in his teritory and that makes' me a prey or threat to it...hog may have attack me in range if it choosed to....and this may happen to whoever passes by will become victim. Should i take this opportunity/excuses to bring my hobby to blood sport game by killing it and in return  to terminate the risk of other ppl who might been attacked by it??. I want to play the roll or hunter hunting the game(hog hunter called their target 'game') before it hurt/attack passes by victim or prey. But who is the real trespasser?Me, the game or the prey??? well by mother nature law humans are trespassing so in nature hog will put up a defents that we so called attack.

 

I really felt to hide at height area wait for my game to come back to his territory which is in my hunting range and zero it in with my hunting scope than enlarge it's bodies part that i wanted my sharp blade arrow to penetrate it and let it bleed to dead, the area is below it front legs joint parts where the heart is located....draw my 60 pounds draw weight  bow and wait for the right moment to end it's life.....blood will let me trace its' path were it bleed to dead...but if i miss my aim and he is not dead after i found it with its blood path... it will immediately change the whole game rules that i will be the prey and it as the predator.. angry injured ..predator. It teeths is enough to kill it's prey by pulling out your internal organ and make a big hole of it....they can run up 40 to 45 kilometer per hour, i can't out run it by the moment i see it.

 

Hunter became hunted and predator become prey....that's 'THE REAL GAME' in my mind now. Killing with out  reason can make a person evil but some ppl think the moment they kill something, they are a step closer to god. Some even think that they are god when they dicide to or not to pull that trigger with only one finger to end a life. But for me i just want to take my sport a little bloody and to prevent passes by get hurt.....well i really don know untill the split moment i zero it in and pull that trigger to end it's life..or maybe mine if the ruleof the game changed!!.........Should i strated my bloody game??, should i became a killer or maybe prey........

 

DO BE OR NOT TO BE that's the game....................

Well.. i am in a heavy mood.but still here is some crappy crab jokes for my invited friends

What's the difference between cheating on your wife and cheating on the tax man??                               If u get caught, the taxman still wants to screw u.

hey guys what is the difference between Hard and Light??                                                                     u still can got to sleep with a light on

Waht do u call a lescian dinosaur?               Lickalottapuss.                                  What do u call a gay dinosaur??                   Megasaurus

What's the difference between Jesus and a cross??                                                                                    It onlytakes one  nail to hang a cross of jesus.

What got four legs and an arm?  A Rottweiler. What's the differences between a rottweiler and a child welfare worker??  it's easier to get your child back from a rottweiler.

Why do new zealand racehorses run so fast?                                                                                            They heard what happens to the

Why is the new style of music called RAP??                                                                                               The C dropped off at time of printing.....

What better than a rose on your piano??                                                                                                   Tulips on your organ.

The difference between pink and purple.....                                                                                               Your wife's grip

Hey!! have u all heard there is a new barbie doll called 'DIVORCED BARBIE."??                                           It comes with all ken's stuff

How do u know you're really ugly?                                                                                                           when Dogs hump your leg with their eyes clossed.

what's ther difference between a wommen with PMT and a Terrorist??                                                         You can negotiate with a terrorist.

WHAT DO U DO IF A ROTTWEILER HUMPS YOUR LEG?                                                                                Fake an orgasm.

 

And finally i never knew what real happiness was untill i got married...........................................................And then it was too late

Oh shit!! now i am really systematically goin in to budget planned already!! i over spent my money on super bike and can't Turn around over....man!! it's really crapy heavy.. i can;t really turn around not to mention eating and sleeping with comfort.Why had i maked such a deadly broke decision?? What about my loans and commitment. OOoOOoO guess i have to robe the bank now..or safer go robe those senior citizen...hope they got alot of retirement fund. Anyone wana join my "ROB THE OLD MAN GANG"? PLEASE send in your resume before i really poke kai (mean fall on street's road) ha ha ha. E.g must be very hard working,must be brave,must be hornest,nust not cheat on my,willing to work overtime and no vietness stand. heh heh heh. If you are good i may allow you to work alone.