when dead there is new life, sadness there is still be happiness, u are poor and have nothing but healthy, u are rich and sick and u are affraid of ppl stealing your wealth and your sonS fighting for your well when u die......OR EVEN BEFORE U DIE. We are all made equal. When u are down just look or browse into affrica and take a loo at those pictures taken by the redcross union..... u will be greatfull but don forget to make some donation to the needies. If u believe in KARMA!! some thing that i don believe in but dare not to challenge it....not event myselg got thatgut todo so. ........ok..ok...enough of all these crap!! so... time for my crab joke aagin ok??

 

 

 

agela joolin walks into a pharmacy and asks to see a range of vibrators. The male pharmacist beckons her with his finger and says "can u come this way ma'am?"

"If I could come that way, I would't need a vibrator!!!"

 

A drunk is sitting at corner of the bar and at the other end, a women is waving excitedly at the barman to take orders. She has areally hairy armpit. "I'll buy a drink for that ballarina at the end of the bar!!" said the drunk. "How u know she's a ballarina?" asks the barman. "wow!! anywomen who can lift up her leg up that high has gotta beaballerina mate"

 

Lesbian...Just anoter women trying to do man's job.

 

A man was very sad. He went to a bar of his friend and ordered a triple shot of wisky. "what's wrong?" asked the barman Woody his friend. "i came home and found my wife in bed with my best friend" replied  the man. Wow!! shit is it jordan? have another drink. what did u do?" " i looked her straight in the eye and told her we were through, pack her stuff and get out!!" "good for u!!" said the barman, And what about jordan your best friend?"Did u killed him? "NooOoo!!jordan? i walked over to him, looked him in the eye and said, BAD DOG HOW MANY TIME I HAD TO TELL U NOT TO SLEEP ON MY BAD!!!"

 

A man was visiting his wife, who was in coma in hospital. He touch her left hand and noticed that she signed. Excited he called the doctor. The doctor told him to touch her right thigh. This time she let out a little moan. The doctor suggested that tried to have sex to her to test her responses. the doctor left the room and retured fifteen minutes later to find the women almost dead. "What happened!!??" asked the doctor. "Doc... I think she might have choked."

 

Doctor John was depressed. He'd been caught having sex with a patient. He was so worried, he confinded to a friend that he might end it all. "you aren't the 1st doctor to sleep with a patient and u certainly worry too much." "I know" said Doctor John, "but I'll no longer be consider the city's top vet...."

 

"hey Lisa if  u woke up in the morning with grass stain on your elbows and your knees and your knickers around your ankles, would you tell anyone??" "hello no!!" replied Lisa." "Than how about coming on a picnic tomorrow??"

 

Ha ha ha that's all for not, not too hard not too light. Hard guy can't sleep with light on ha ha ha but i still like this the Best:( I will tell this joke to my wife if i get laid)

 

I don't know what is real happiness untill i got married......................and than it was too lateha ha ha hope she won't kill me he he he

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

well i been in achery for nearly 3 years now ranged 30 to 40 meters accuracy with my compound matthew LX bow, but only in-door target pratice.i had heard alot about out door 'track,wait and hunt' game with wild boars...something new and dangerous...interesting. Senior bow man told me that i am not fit and experience with the game and mother nature yet but yet i am ready to take a risk of doin it already. I saw a black hog armed with sharp teeth with evil red eyes near my back house estate 8 kilometer deep. Must have lost his way or maybe looking for new habitat or food, they never get lost with their well pave track, or maybe he is looking for new territory for mating. He ran away the moment he hear noise made by my bike. But the hog's track were all over the place telling me he is the new owner of that teritory. With it's dropping and dirty bathe area telling me he is staying there for good with food. At that moment i had decided to give myself a bit extreme blood game. should i or should not...is the question running in my head untill  i had to blog it in my web. Killing something which i haven't done yet. I heard lots of excitement and accident where hunter being hunted and prey and predator games....make me....scare, excited...maybe confuse too..to kill someting which is just trying to make a new home and new life.....i am actually in his teritory and that makes' me a prey or threat to it...hog may have attack me in range if it choosed to....and this may happen to whoever passes by will become victim. Should i take this opportunity/excuses to bring my hobby to blood sport game by killing it and in return  to terminate the risk of other ppl who might been attacked by it??. I want to play the roll or hunter hunting the game(hog hunter called their target 'game') before it hurt/attack passes by victim or prey. But who is the real trespasser?Me, the game or the prey??? well by mother nature law humans are trespassing so in nature hog will put up a defents that we so called attack.

 

I really felt to hide at height area wait for my game to come back to his territory which is in my hunting range and zero it in with my hunting scope than enlarge it's bodies part that i wanted my sharp blade arrow to penetrate it and let it bleed to dead, the area is below it front legs joint parts where the heart is located....draw my 60 pounds draw weight  bow and wait for the right moment to end it's life.....blood will let me trace its' path were it bleed to dead...but if i miss my aim and he is not dead after i found it with its blood path... it will immediately change the whole game rules that i will be the prey and it as the predator.. angry injured ..predator. It teeths is enough to kill it's prey by pulling out your internal organ and make a big hole of it....they can run up 40 to 45 kilometer per hour, i can't out run it by the moment i see it.

 

Hunter became hunted and predator become prey....that's 'THE REAL GAME' in my mind now. Killing with out  reason can make a person evil but some ppl think the moment they kill something, they are a step closer to god. Some even think that they are god when they dicide to or not to pull that trigger with only one finger to end a life. But for me i just want to take my sport a little bloody and to prevent passes by get hurt.....well i really don know untill the split moment i zero it in and pull that trigger to end it's life..or maybe mine if the ruleof the game changed!!.........Should i strated my bloody game??, should i became a killer or maybe prey........

 

DO BE OR NOT TO BE that's the game....................

Well.. i am in a heavy mood.but still here is some crappy crab jokes for my invited friends

What's the difference between cheating on your wife and cheating on the tax man??                               If u get caught, the taxman still wants to screw u.

hey guys what is the difference between Hard and Light??                                                                     u still can got to sleep with a light on

Waht do u call a lescian dinosaur?               Lickalottapuss.                                  What do u call a gay dinosaur??                   Megasaurus

What's the difference between Jesus and a cross??                                                                                    It onlytakes one  nail to hang a cross of jesus.

What got four legs and an arm?  A Rottweiler. What's the differences between a rottweiler and a child welfare worker??  it's easier to get your child back from a rottweiler.

Why do new zealand racehorses run so fast?                                                                                            They heard what happens to the

Why is the new style of music called RAP??                                                                                               The C dropped off at time of printing.....

What better than a rose on your piano??                                                                                                   Tulips on your organ.

The difference between pink and purple.....                                                                                               Your wife's grip

Hey!! have u all heard there is a new barbie doll called 'DIVORCED BARBIE."??                                           It comes with all ken's stuff

How do u know you're really ugly?                                                                                                           when Dogs hump your leg with their eyes clossed.

what's ther difference between a wommen with PMT and a Terrorist??                                                         You can negotiate with a terrorist.

WHAT DO U DO IF A ROTTWEILER HUMPS YOUR LEG?                                                                                Fake an orgasm.

 

And finally i never knew what real happiness was untill i got married...........................................................And then it was too late

Oh shit!! now i am really systematically goin in to budget planned already!! i over spent my money on super bike and can't Turn around over....man!! it's really crapy heavy.. i can;t really turn around not to mention eating and sleeping with comfort.Why had i maked such a deadly broke decision?? What about my loans and commitment. OOoOOoO guess i have to robe the bank now..or safer go robe those senior citizen...hope they got alot of retirement fund. Anyone wana join my "ROB THE OLD MAN GANG"? PLEASE send in your resume before i really poke kai (mean fall on street's road) ha ha ha. E.g must be very hard working,must be brave,must be hornest,nust not cheat on my,willing to work overtime and no vietness stand. heh heh heh. If you are good i may allow you to work alone.

A drunk man stumbles into a confessional. The priest hears him come in, but then hears nothing, so he knocks on the wall.

"forget it, buddy..."d\says the drunk,"there's no paper in the one either."

 

Bill had been drinking all afternoon when he suddunly puked all over his shirt. "my wife is gonna kill me!" he said. The bartender said,"put in twenty dollar in your top pocket and tell your wife that a drunk threw up on u and gave u that money to get it cleaned." Bill agreed it was a good idea. When he got home, he told his wife the story and handed her the money."but there is forty dollars here."she said."....Yeah, he shit in my pants, too."

Why is ti so difficult for Mexico to recruit good Olympic team??

Becayse anyone who can swim, run, jump is now on the United States.

I learnd partly of west australia,Sarawak,Sabah,Thailand,Indonesia,Nepal,China, Malaysia and Taiwan culture. Well mostly it's about jungle, Ford, Live hunting, Black magic, tomb stone, haunted legendary, fishing and river bank to river bank. Why not jungle of rocks?? you mean shopping mall with tall big and exspensive Mega Mall??Hey let some one else do that kind of adventure. Man don get involed in that adventure cause u will go on your 1st pay day empty hand early in the morning and come out full handed wit pags on the afternoon. The worst thing is taking things for your love one...The deadliest time.... is... "honey how do i look with this and that". (a few man manage to survivec with this " beautiful").Wrong answer will bring u great disaster. So the best adventure is still the green alone or with friends. do some urban donation to the primitive mosquito and make them whole family happy. YEAH  

 

1) Did you hear about the gay guy who lost his job at the sperm bank??

"No how" asked another man...

He Was caught drinking on the job.

2)Why does a dog lick its arse??

Because it knows when u come back in few minutes time it'll be licking your face.

3) The indian brave asked his father why people of his tribe had such unsual names like brave bear, red bear, white fox, and thunder cloud.

"We indians name out children after first thing we see during conception.Why do u ask these questions....Broken Rubber?? 

REmembered my word about experience?? Well to make it more simple to u all:

Experience: The wonderful knowledge that enable you to recognize a mistake when you make it again .It's also the name we give our mistakes.

Budget : An attempt t0 live below your monthly earnings.  or A schedule for goin into debt systematically

A secret: It's something you only tell it to one person at a time

Admiration: Our polite recognition of another person's resemblance to ourselves

Adolescent: A teenager whom acts like a baby when u doesn’t treat them like an adult.

Hey u guys know what is life insurance?? It's a contract that keeps you poor so that you can die rich,

ok ok here's another joke: Why do American female paratroopers always wear tight underpants when on a mission??

                                      So their enemy will not hear them whistle on the way down

A clever girl: a girl that now how make a man do what she think of.

A clever man : where all his monthly earning straight debit into her wife account.( HEY GUY'S NO OFFENDS COURSE THIS JOKE MY FEMALEFRIENDS )

mY OWN DEFINITION: BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR OPPOSITE SEX, BUT  MAKE COMMITMENT TO YOURSELF ONLY

here is another one:

 

A bike rider got lost in some place and he is very hungry and thristy, after a few hour he found a rough looking cafe, but the motorist was so hungry and decided to give it a try. "what will you have?" barked the waitress, who looked like a wrestler.

biker: two hamburgers and a hot dog FAST he ordered. The waitres went to the fridge, got out two meat patties and stuck them under her ampits."why did u do that for?" asked the biker. "They're deep frozen and the mcrowaves's busted" she said "this is the only way i can thaw them out"

Biker:.....O.k but forget the hotdogs!!!! ha ha ha enjoy. have to go to site to get someone to blame on already. If u all still remember that i am from blaming department he heh e.

hey 1st of all, these jokes have nothing to do with any person in real life ok. Just some joke i read off.here goes:

 

A rich tourist had come to vatican in hope of seing the pope and was ecstatic when the pontiff came into the crowd near him and placed his hands on the shoulders of a shabbily dressed tramp. The rich tourist was amazed to see the pope do the same thing the following day so he approached the tramp and offered him $200 to swap clothes, to which the tramp's eagerly agreed. Next day, the rich tourist dressed in the ramp's smelly rags, the tourist was delighted to see the pope turn and approach him. The pope bent forward, placed both hands on his shoulders and whisperd, " how many time that i have to tell u don beg here. Now,PISS OFF!!!!"

On last year before chinese new year i take oath that i will quit smoking if i gt something that i wanted. I got it 3 months ago...but still smoking.punisherble by dead that's is by coma and cancer. I hope i will make my promise come true before it's too late. wthin this year i got alot of things to change. haven't really get one done yet.next year i must prepare myself for overseas job. A fit physical is required to survive that job. i havent do it too...man.. what have i bcome. ..... all my life it's draining away

 

have any of u guy has the same feeling or experience like mine?? here it goes....one day on my way to work,when i noticed my wallet running a bit low on cash, i decided to cash out some money from the auto teller machine, but when i took out my atm card... shit it was broken to 2 pieces...on the high way got money to pump petrol but no money to go through  toll terminal.....hang over in a petrol station....and the best thing about petrol satation is that u can fill ur gas with credit card but u can't use ur credit card to pay ur toll.... and i made a mistake by using cash for petrol and end up without money to pay for toll....Shame.....have to wait for my friends to come ad help me...some more the amount is rm7.10 cent..my friend bombared me heavyly....all the way just to lent me rm 7.10cent.... next time make sure that your atm is good in shape and u alway hide some money in your car...though they say don leave any money in your car.... but have to hide some money in the car.

 

P/S: actually i wanted to ask some pretty gals who stop by for some help.. but u know lah man dignity is all over my mind... u can't just approach them and say...please give me rm 7.10 please.....u may get sexual asault charges for that.DON ASK ME AND I DON KNOW HOW THE HELL WE CAN GET SEXUAL ASSAULT JUST TO ASK FOR HELP)Amen let as pray to god for free petrol.

chinese new year is over....back to slavery had to work daily with every energy. worst.... i am broke lost rm25 to uncle lim sons' already.

 Oh my  god, chinese new year is just up a head.. still not yet buy anything. My finance ministry told me i only got 1k to spend. man 1k cant go anywhere.....

Man!1 hell of festival was over..chinese new year coming eh? to those whom is loaded better  give some money to your old man before spending, they need our love but not money..but that's what money can do till the day we die huh?? we still need money. But to those that spend all their bonus like me or poor enouhg, don worry we still have some one that care and love. Pooor family stillhave to go on with their new year..but less clothing and fire crakers. But remember there is alot's of way being happy, it's not about the money but the moment we are wit some one we love and care. So poor parents put up your love and smile to your kids and make sure u have all u want.....Health. yea!! it's true till the moment we are dead still money but what u can't buy is health. So....BE HAPPY AND MAKESURE U V ALL PARTY THE HELL OUT OUR HAPPINESS WITH OUR FAMILY !!!

so global warming is coming faster than armageddon huh??well that's is circle of life.what we did will fall on someone we love and protected so much...but don worry we human will never extict. Scientist said that we had face 6 armageddon, all organisma burn to ashes,and we will respawn from living organisma...virus...bacteria,sponges and millions years of revolution...PUH!!! human rise again....but green house gone and water level rising up...we better starts to learnd how to swim like fish and craw like crab before sea cover's our head.But still don worry..scientist said that all organisma begin emerged from the sea.I hope thats true or i have to start to belive in jesus and hope that da vincci is wrong. MAN what on earth is goin on??